Ugh!

I'm so frustrated with everything right now.  I can't even handle this bullshit.  The end of May is soooo far away right now.  I just want to get out of here.  I feel like nothing is going right for me right now.  Hopefully that will all change in my professional life, but my personal life is hanging by a thread right now :( 

Marching band sucks right now.  For the first time in 2 years I've been taken out of pregame, which in hindsight really isn't that big of a deal, however, it is my senior year and I feel like that should give me a little bit of an edge when it comes to making that decision.  Or even if I wasn't actually trying to hit chair during practice it might be warranted.  It just feels like I am constantly under attack my 2 of the color guard leaders (for things that they do too).  It's just frustrating.  They are 2 of my best friends, but ever since this year started I feel like they are teaming together to make my life miserable.  I know that's not right but it's how it feels right now.  Every time I seem to make plans with them, something screws it up.  It just really makes me miss my old roommate more and more.  I miss my live-in best friend.  That I can just be lazy with and hang out with all the time.  My new roommates are awesome, but I still feel slightly like an outcast since they both have boyfriends and are gone when I'm home and when I'm gone they are home.

I could really use something good to happen.  Like finally landing an internship so that I can graduate after next semester.  That would make my semester right now.  Really anything good happening would help.  Maybe my friends acting like my friends again.  I just don't appreciate being called a best friend by certain people and then when school starts you act like an ass toward me.  If I'm explaining something I get attitude for it, so I end up giving attitude right back.  Truthfully, I think it's warranted.  Don't be a bitch to me about something but not come down hard on someone else for doing something even worse.  It's not okay, and it's been happening a lot lately.  Honestly, if it keeps happening my attitude during band is not going to change.  I have no reason to pretend to be happy about something when no one else is getting pulled aside for the things that they are doing wrong.

I've had enough and if it continues, you're actually going to get bitched out by me next time.  So far I've held my tongue on certain topics, but it will not continue if I get yelled at for something else that either doesn't matter or something that isn't as bad as oh I don't know...wearing WHITE under your uniform instead of black, or perhaps red gloves.  I was still f-ing wearing black socks, and they are socks that I've worn for the past 4 f-ing years!  Yeah, I'm gonna give you attitude and then have a breakdown after that kind of thing.