Things seem to just keep getting worse for me. Not only am I stuck in Minneapolis for Thanksgiving without my family, but I have absolutely no one to spend it with either. Looks like I'm going to be eating a pizza for Thanksgiving dinner. So annoying! I would love to have a home cooked meal right about now. Except all I am good at making is breakfast foods. Maybe I'll have pancakes and waffles tomorrow. It can be a day full of all breakfast food. That's Thanksgivingy right?
I think my best option is to forget that tomorrow is a holiday and just focus and do some homework and watch some Christmas movies. That way I can just completely skip Thanksgiving all together. I wouldn't be so bummed about it if I at least had someone to celebrate with. At this point I'd take just about anyone. Oh well, maybe I'll come to terms with my sadness at some point tomorrow. Or at least drown some of my sorrows in the alcohol I bought to get me through the day. Wow, that sure makes me sound like an alcoholic. haha.
Theres so many other things that have been going wrong for me lately I don't even know where to start. Band is finally going okay, except that I switched to rifle for 2 of the songs and am suffering when it comes to doing some of the moves. Hopefully that will work itself out by Friday though. Other than that I'm just trying to make it through everything day by day.
I think the biggest issue I'm having is with friends. I feel like I am slowly being edged out somehow. My phone used to go off all the time with text messages from friends wanting to hang out, but now...I think it's been more than a week since anyone here in Minneapolis has contacted me about hanging out outside of marching band. Then they had the nerve to ask me: why didn't you contact me this weekend? We could have hung out. ...Well, I'm sorry that I didn't contact you after all of you decided to cancel our road trip last minute and made me feel like a complete ass to someone I've known since high school and have been planning the trip to see him for almost 2 months. Yes, it is my fault that I was alone all weekend. I did try to contact all of them this weekend, however, no one responded. Whatever, it just shows me who my true friends are. It also makes me realize how much I miss Jennifer. It totally sucks having roommates that are always out and about with their boyfriends. Granted I'm kinda single by choice, but there are times I really wish I had someone to always rely on to hang out with me.
I honestly don't think I've been this unhappy with my personal life since my Freshman year of college in Stevens Point. Clearly I just need to find a new group of people to hang out with here in Minneapolis. Perhaps there will be one day that my life will just fall into place, but until that time, I am going to try my best to be a more upbeat person. Perhaps a new attitude will help change things around a little.
Dearest Carol,
ReplyDeleteI know that times are hard. Believe me, it hasn't been a walk in the park here either. Sometimes certain situations leave us feeling alone, betrayed, and heartbroken, but it is in these difficult times that we must not lose hope. Try to focus on the good things in your life: your family and friends that truly love you, the prospect of a more promising future, and the little things that never cease to amuse you. As Little Orphan Annie always says, the sun will come out tomorrow. And while that proverbial tomorrow might seem like a long way off, just keep believing that someday it WILL stop raining. Everything that happens to you, good or bad, happens for a reason, whether it be to teach you a valuable lesson or to make you a stronger person. These experiences make us all who we are, and I firmly believe that the more heartache you experience, the more you will appreciate the things in your life that are truly wonderful. Keep your head held high, dear, and know that I am always only a phone call away. Love you.